Alice in Wonderland
9th May 2009 ~ Hi! I'm Alice & I'm 12 years old. My hobby is photography & I like taking pics of nature, especially of flowers. Let me tell you a story about that time I was snapping some shots in a flower & veggie garden near my home. It was a blazing hot day & I was a little dizzy from the heat. Suddenly, I saw some movement under a big bush. Went to investigate & found a large hole hidden by the bush. It looked so dark & forbidding. Anyway, I'm afraid of the dark & was backing away when a force pulled me into the hole... like a black hole in space. OMG! I must have crossed the event horizon! Helplessly, I fell & fell, endlessly falling till after an unaccountable time had past, I landed with a gentle bump... in a greenery Wonderland!
Wonders of wonders... there were flowers everywhere. Sweet smelling perfumed flowers surrounding me.
When I looked up at the sky, it seemed like I'm in paradise.
I sort of remembered a book read to me by my parents when I was younger... something about a little girl falling down a rabbit burrow. Oh... never mind that. I'm lost, hungry, thirsty, tired & wanna go home. Saw some wild berries, but I dare not try them as they might be poisonous.
So I asked the flowers where can I get a bite & which way home.
The lovely flowers told me to look for a cat, a Cheshire cat. What's a Cheshire cat? No problem, I know a cat when I see one! Meow, meow? =P
I came across some mushrooms & asked them whether they saw a cat? They told me they had lost a pipe-smoking caterpillar. Dumb mushrooms!
I explored further & found some golden rabbits. Asked if they had seen a cat. They told me they lost their top hat! Silly rabbits!
I saw some orchids racing by & followed them thinking they might know the way.
Suddenly, I saw movement in a patch of yellow flowers. It was a cat! A black cat with a ribbon on it's neck. Fancy that! But when I approached, it faded & disappeared! Hey! Come back, you stupid cat!
Then I saw it materializing at another patch of flowers.
I told it to stop doing it's disappearing trick as I had some questions to ask. Ask away it said & faded away again! Oh dammit! I would have curse & swear if I'm not that thirsty. It's been a lousy hot day!
Then it appeared behind me & said "Can I buy you a drink?" Coca Cola in paradise?!? Who cares, I'm thirsty!
Next thing I knew, the cat was playing with my bag. Hey, stop that, you stupid cat! And you haven't answered my questions!
To Bag a Cat
It said "Let's have tea with the queen." Huh? Cat said "Follow me quick." It leaded me to a castle in a park.
That's where the cat introduced me to the Duchess who was also going to the tea party.
On our way, the Duchess hailed the Mock Turtle, but he was too busy emo-ing coz he lost his Rotting Fish dancing partner.
The Tortoise & The Fish
Finally we arrived at the tea party & I was introduced to the Queen of Heart.
Cold Stony Queen
We were served unagi & I asked for ocha.
Cheshire cat wanted sake & sashimi.
The queen said no, we only have English tea. I argued that since she was serving her guests Japanese food, it must go with Japanese drinks, you dumb blonde! The queen shouted for her flowery guards. "Off with her head!" she screamed & they attacked like X-Wings in the rain.
Attack of the Mad Orchids!
I torn them up & tossed their petals down the drain.
There were too many of them. I'm fighting without gain.
Charge of The Yellow Brigade
Pacman swamping, they cornered me.
Desperately, I took out my communicator & shouted into it "Beam me up, Scotty!" and Viola! I'm onboard the NCC Enterprise, starship from the fleet of Federation of Hamsters. There's this elf with pointed ears & Beatles haircut. He's a very irritating fellow who kept saluting with 4 fingers & saying "Live long & phosphorous." He explained that what I experienced is a conspiracy by Romulans who were from a distant galaxy, a long long time ago. They were time-warping & destroying alternate universes lead by a Lord Viagra who corrupted the citizens of Wonderland by telling them that he is their father. Pointy ears, Beatles hairstyle is helpless & clueless on what to do to counter the threat. I kicked him out of the command seat & took over. 'Lead, follow or get the hell out of my way' is my motto! Capitan Nikita commanding! Me is going to teach those blue trekkies a lesson they will never forget! We retaliated, went in with phasers firing fiercely, proton torpedoes launching furiously, light sabers swinging wildly...
The Future Begins...
The Hamster of War is unstoppable! We fought till the sky turned red with flames. Take that, you wussies!
The enemy surrendered, unconditionally peeing in their pants. Lord Viagra went back to being AnyTin Slywalker again, selling insurance. The universe is at peace again. And I crashed into a wedding...
Oh wait! That's another story! Cheshire cat & me will be dreaming of another adventure, to go boldly where no hamster had gone before, to the frontier & beyond! Story is The End!
What? You expect Vulcans' logic & reason in this story?!? Get real! =P
We would like to express our gratitude to Singapore Botanic Garden, Waraku Japanese Restaurant for the use of their location. We also would like to say thanks to the movie, Star Trek - The Future Begins, which is awesome. I know many hardcore trekkies complained about that movie & that's precisely what makes me wanna watch it. It turned out I'm right. Whatever they, the trekkies dislike, I will like. xD
I cannot be hold responsible if anyone gone crazy or mentally unstable after reading my story. It's your fault if you have a weak mind. =P
No infringement is intended. All characters & locations in my story are fictional. If for any reason that certain characters & scenes look/sound familiar, it's just pure coincidence. Call it Murphy's Law. =P
No animal, plant, statue, building, soft toy, universe or movie is damage, harm or driven mad during the making of this blog entry. xD
And look out for the teaser after the credits...
Lead actress Alice played by Nikita Hengbok.
Cheshire cat played by Gigi, from Kiki Delivery Service by Studio Ghibli.
The Queen of Heart played by Statue in Singapore Botanic Garden.
The Duchess played by Wild Party Ginger.
Pointed ears & Beatles haircut elf played by Spock.
Lord Viagra played by Darth Vader.
Mushrooms played by Orange Fungi.
Mock Turtle played by Turtle.
Rotting Fish played by Dead Fish.
Pacman played by Lily Leaves.
Flower Power people played by orchids from National Orchid Garden.
Wedding couple played by Married Couple.
Script by Cutie Hamster
Photography by SiaoMouse
Costumes by Hengbok Fashion.
Blah, blah, blah...
So... what are you waiting for? Shoo shoo... get off your computer!
The teaser? OH! The Teaser! Here you go...
The Galactic Princess
Huh? Blurry? That's a teaser, right? =P
That's a pic of Princess Laygal in captivity as a sex slave own by Pizza the Hut. It's for our next episode, The Return of The Seeds. It's a story about how the Seeds allied with the Klingon to deseed the JerkDies.
Alright folks, this is really the end of this entry, I mean seriously!
I Am Your Mother! xD
Go fore, live long and prosper. May the Force be with you!